Does His Size Matter?

Written by on 09/27/2013 in Sex for Couples

Does penis size matter?Does it? As much as we try to reassure our men it doesn’t, I’m still a bit unsure about this one. Having slept with some rather well-endowed male performers, there’s no doubt that a big willy can be a big turn on, if only because of the idea of it. In practical terms, there’s nothing a nine inch penis can do that a six inch penis can’t. And having a big penis certainly doesn’t guarantee sexual prowess.

That being said, I do think a very small penis can affect a woman’s enjoyment of intercourse–if the focus is on penetration. If he’s otherwise a great lover, it’s unlikely to make too much of a difference to the ultimate outcome. You might well find he tries harder. It’s a very subjective thing, much like men with breasts–one woman’s big is another woman’s small.

Some vital stats:

  • The average erect penis is roughly 5- 6 inches long.
  • The longest willy in the world is 13 inches.
  • The shortest is 5/8 of an inch! This is a rare medical condition called, appropriately, a “‘micropenis.” Now complain about your boyfriend’s four and a half inches!
  • Black men are, on average, bigger than white men. By roughly a quarter of an inch! So although there’s truth in the myth, it’s not that significant.

Generally, size only matters if your guy is significantly bigger or smaller than average, so I’d like to share some tips for dealing with this, to ensure you both get maximum satisfaction. . .

If he’s larger than average

First of all, when you broach the subject, he will most likely take it as a compliment and start preening. Most men would love to be told they’re too big, not realizing it can actually cause a problem. For example:

  • Some positions may be uncomfortable, painful or just plain impossible.
  • Oral gives you serious jaw ache, and deep throat is out of the question.
  • Quickies are impossible as you need to be highly aroused for him to enter you without making you wince.
  • Don’t even mention anal.

The most obvious solutions are of course to use a lubricant and make sure you have enough foreplay. You need to tell him, not suffer in silence. He will likely take it quite well, and if he’s very large and at all an attentive lover he should be aware of the potential problems already. In fact, I can’t think of a better tactic for encouraging your man to brush up on his foreplay skills than by saying, “Darling, your cock is just so big I’m going to need to be really wet before I can take it all. . .” Cheesy? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

Good positions if he’s well-endowed include you on top, as you can control the thrusting and how much of him you take inside you, and missionary with your legs in the standard position. Also try the CAT position (see Sex Positions to Make You Go Oooh) as it involves you both rocking rather than thrusting. If you struggle to give him oral, concentrate on the head of his penis which is where most of the sensitivity is anyway, and use your hand on the shaft.

If he’s smaller than average

If he’s below four inches when erect, it may well effect your sexual enjoyment, particularly if you like to feel “filled up.” Girth may also be an issue. Some experts are adamant that it’s penis width that matters, not length, particularly as the first three inches of the vagina are the most sensitive anyway. So if he has an average length but very slim penis, this may also feel dissatisfying to you. Especially, let’s face it, if you’ve been through childbirth a few times!

Unfortunately this is a much harder subject to broach with him than if he’s ove-endowed, as men are very sensitive about their penis size, or lack of. Don’t throw it at him in an argument or say things like “but it’s so cute” or he will wilt even more. If he’s very small, rather than just small by your standards (your ex had a ten-inch cock the width of a Pepsi can, for example) then he most probably already knows and is already insecure about it. On the upside, it has probably encouraged him to brush up on his foreplay and oral skills. Other positives to your man being less than huge include:

  • You can deep throat him, which means he’ll think you’re a goddess.
  • Anal is a lot easier. In fact, if you like anal this will help, as he’ll get the tighter sensation and you will get that “full” feeling.
  • Quickies can be indulged in without a whole tub of lubricant.
  • No position is out of bounds.

Rather than mentioning the size of his penis at all, you can ensure you get more satisfaction by asking him for more foreplay. Just tell him how much you love it when he touches you like that, or goes down on you while looking at him like he’s a sex god, and you should get plenty more of the same. For the majority of woman sexual enjoyment is found more through clitoral stimulation than penetration anyway, and even vaginal orgasms–often resulting in female ejaculation–are more likely to be achieved by one or two fingers in the right spot than by a thrusting penis of any size. You can also suggest the following positions that will make him feel bigger without mentioning why you want to try them.

  • To make him feel longer, lie on your back with your legs over his shoulders or as far back over your head as you can get them if you’re flexible. Pop a cushion under your bum too to allow for deep penetration.
  • From behind positions such as doggy can be uncomfortable with a man that’s large, so you can indulge in these to your heart’s content. Lie on your stomach with your legs together to make him feel bigger inside you.
  • Lie on your back with your legs closed to make him feel wider and you tighter. Grab his bum and pull him deep into you.

Finally, to quote a friend of mine, “It’s not the size of the ship that matters, but the motion of the ocean!”


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