Female Ejaculation–Is it Real, and How to Achieve It

Written by on 08/02/2013 in Sex for Couples

G-spot and female ejaculationHere comes the science . . . in 1950 Dr Grafenberg “discovered” the G- (Grafenberg-) spot. He also “discovered” female ejaculation–large quantities of a clear fluid that gushes out of the urethra in some women when they climax. So it should be a done deal. Yet even though researchers have since confirmed his findings and decided that the ejaculate is produced from the Skene’s gland, similar to the male prostate, there are others who claim it doesn’t exist. To the point that in the UK and parts of Canada censor boards still class female ejaculation scenes as urination fetish scenes (watersports) and try to ban them.

Dr Grafenberg did get something wrong. In his discovery of the G-spot he had no real idea what it was anatomically and concluded it to be some kind of stand-alone spot, attached to the vaginal wall as if God popped it in there as an afterthought (perhaps to make up for labor pains). His mistaken conclusions may have given rise to the arguments about the existence of this pleasure-giving spot. It exists, but not in the way Grafenberg thought. What most definitely does exist is the spongy tissue that’s wrapped around your urethra. The area where this tissue can be felt through the vaginal wall is the area Grafenberg discovered. The spongy tissue swells up when we’re aroused and when stimulated, and it belongs to the same network of nerve endings as the clitoris. Hence why it feels so damn good when they’re both given some attention. Quite why this sponge ejaculates fluid is unclear, as it seems to serve no evolutionary purpose (other than making us happy, which is always a winner). But it can, and it does.

Women don’t typically spontaneously ejaculate every time we orgasm. The majority of women will never have experienced it until they come across a man with a great technique, as it is notoriously difficult to do it yourself; you can end up twisted like a pretzel! As a result a lot of people will conclude that, if it exists, then it is at best very rare.

I’m happy to assure you that it not only exists, but that the vast majority of us can and will ejaculate. If you’re wondering, yes–it can feel mind-blowing. A G-spot orgasm–particularly if combined with clitoral stimulation–can be a truly intense experience, and the more intense, the higher the likelihood of ejaculating. So I would suggest giving it a go, either with a willing man, or a G-spot vibrator designed to hit the right spot. You can of course just have a go using your own hands, but as I said it requires a certain degree of flexibility and if it’s your first time, chances are all you’ll end up with is an aching wrist.

Here’s how to do it.

As I said, most women won’t just spontaneously gush, and most first G-spot orgasms won’t produce very much ejaculate at all. It sounds bizarre, but the G-spot can be “trained.” It’s typical to start off releasing a few droplets of fluid after lots of stimulation, then after a few months, to be gushing like a fountain after ten minutes, and you may even begin to ejaculate during sex if the position is stimulating this area. This has happened to me after months of my partner giving my G lots of tender loving care. I was once on top of him, sitting on the couch with my legs bent on either side of him, approaching orgasm and really giving it some, when I climaxed in a long jet that went straight over his shoulder and hit the wall. It was pretty awesome.

Let me just reassure you, it’s NOT pee! Too many women will hold back at the crucial moment and so deprive themselves because they feel they’re going to wet themselves. It’s not urine, so relax and let go.

A word of caution if you’re trying this out with your partner. Being able to make your partner “squirt” is a popular fantasy for a lot of men, and it’s currently having something of a heyday in adult movies, adding to its popularity. But don’t make this about performing or producing for him; this is about you having an intense and sensual experience. Focus on the orgasm rather than whether you ejaculate or not. When your G-spot orgasms become intense, it will naturally happen. It feels divine, but if you make it something to do to make him happy, the performance pressure will take all the fun out of it. If you think your man is likely to be self-motivated and make it all about him, stick with a G-spot vibrator.

There are two main positions: on your back (pop a cushion under your butt) or on all fours. You could also try squatting, but you’ll need strong thighs! Experiment and see which is most comfortable. You’ll find the elusive spot on the front wall of your vagina, a couple of inches in. You will feel the texture change; there will be a small area that is harder or bumpier than the rest of your vagina and may be slightly raised. Massage with two fingers or the vibe quite firmly in a circling or “come hither” motion and it will start to swell under your touch. All you then need to do is continue . . . and continue . . .

Here She Comes!

When you’ve found your ideal touch and pressure, keep it up and you will feel the area swelling under your fingers. You may find the pressure becomes quite intense–an indication your orgasm is imminent. Remove fingers/vibe just as your orgasm is peaking and that’s when you might ejaculate, which will usually prolong and intensify your orgasm. Keep a towel handy!

Female ejaculation orgasms are often intense and powerful–in fact they’re recommended in Tantric texts for sexual and emotional healing–and can even release pent-up emotions, so be loving to yourself afterwards and bask in the afterglow. You rock.

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