How Sexy is Safe?

Written by on 02/19/2013 in Porn & Industry

Fellatio: with a condom or without?The first time I heard the word “bareback” I assumed the term had something to do with horseback riding. Now, thanks to the eBook revolution, I have enough carnal knowledge to open a bordello (in Nevada where it’s legal, of course) and that makes me exceedingly proud.

Speaking of Nevada, I was thinking today about a woman I once met who was trying to reinvent herself after working her youth away at the infamous Mustang ranch. Marla (not her real name) was a candid, lively buxom brunette in her mid to late thirties. The sex industry hadn’t bruised her self-esteem one bit but she obviously wasn’t a businesswoman with the acumen of a Heidi Fleiss or Xavier Hollander. When I met her, she was flat broke and squatting at the home of an estranged relative who didn’t want her there.

I’m the female version of Felix Unger, eschewing germs and all manner of unpleasantness in favor of longevity and quietude. When I hear or read stories about sex for sale, my first reaction is: What about STDs? Aren’t people afraid of getting them?

Apparently not. Marla said all men want bareback blow jobs. Sure, you can insist on depleting your stash of Strawberry Daiquiri flavored rubbers, but don’t expect repeat customers. She added that her favorite use for a condom was using one like a stocking stuffer for cash. That admission sent my hands up in a semaphore T signal for Stop–if there’s one acronym scarier than STD it’s TMI.

Porn stars don’t have it any better. An attractive young woman with an aversion to “bareback” festivities would do better pursuing a different sort of acting career, perhaps on the stage where she can protect her anatomy with pantaloons and beautiful period costumes.

So where can you get juicy full-throttle sex without risking your health or fearing for someone else’s? On the page, of course!

My introduction to erotica (and I know I’m dating myself here) was the Black Lace novel, which typically printed caveats on the inside covers. Readers were encouraged to enjoy the book but please, please remember to practice safe sex in real life.

We also admonish readers not assume characters or events are based on real people or places. Occasionally you’ll see someone’s claim to a moral right to publish explicit material which makes me wonder if the author grew up in a religious cult, or is covering all bases on a forked road that can lead either to success or perdition.

With all the competition from web cams, porn sites, and bikini baristas, the world needs to cut fiction writers some slack.

My female characters have a fetish for fellatio. I can’t imagine my characters looping their tongues round sheathed erections and I shouldn’t have to: they’re fictive. Nothing bad will ever happen to my horny, phallic-loving dames.

Ever since the porn industry threatened to relocate when a majority of Los Angeles voters approved the Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act (which would require condom use when filming sex scenes), I’ve been thinking a lot about the responsibility of the sex entertainment purveyor.

If porn actors are refusing en bloc to wear protection, should erotic fiction writers feel compelled to promote condoms?

Consider this line from Shayla Black’s erotic novel Delicious: “He probably should wear a condom with her. . . but taking Alyssa bareback was a sublime experience he couldn’t forgo.”

Yum. Reading Shayla Black always turns me on. And we don’t have to worry about Alyssa because (even though she’s a stripper!) she’s not screwing a different guy in every scene and we know (okay, we hope) her passionate feelings for Luc will lead to something momentous and eventful.

Most legitimate purveyors of erotica promote work that is safe, sane and consensual. I know there are devotees of a category called “non-con” but I really don’t want to hear about them. For me, the words safe and consensual will always be contiguous.

But if my female characters want to give a sweet, handsome guy a bareback blow job. . . well, that’s their business.

Want an insider’s perspective on the up’s and down’s of safe sex in the porn industry? Check out Ron Jeremy’s memoir–trust me, it’s hilarious, charming and fascinating.

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