I know a lot of women profess to get little out of nipple play. We all have differing degrees of sensitivity in this area, so for some women this indeed may be true, but I suspect in many cases the problem in fact lies with insensitive male techniques such as the one I like to call “tuning in,” where he fiddles with your nipples as if he’s trying to find the local radio station. Or sucks vigorously away before they are ready.
But according to many sexperts, including the brilliant Tracy Cox in her book Hot Sex (Piatkus, 2000), correct stimulation of the nipples can reduce most women to a quivering happy wreck, with a small percent (studies vary, but generally agree on around 2-5%) of women able to reach orgasm through nipple play alone. I’ve never personally met a woman who has confessed to this, but from my own experience and those of friends, I can definitely say that some expert nipple play can certainly bring you very close. If nothing else, it should be a nice addition to foreplay.
Nipples, once aroused and erect, can in spite of their sensitivity take quite a bit of punishment, making them an obvious choice for more extreme sensation play and inclusion in BDSM practices. If you don’t fancy getting too involved but you have discovered you like a rough touch here, you can have him–or yourself–tug, pinch, and even carefully bite or slap to your heart’s content. If you enjoy toys and/or BDSM, here are a few ideas:
Having the breasts lightly slapped can be a huge turn-on, but of course be careful and aware of your own boundaries. Safeword, safeword, safeword! Try a small spanking paddle, or a very soft flogger such as a cat o’nine tails with velvet whips. I have a lovely one with a zebra-print handle from Ann Summers.
To read the rest of this tutorial and fifteen other tutorials and essays about kink/BDSM, read our new eBook, Kinky Sex: A BDSM Primer. If you don’t own a Kindle, the free Kindle Reading app lets you easily read Amazon eBooks on your computer, laptop, tablet or smartphone.
Scarlett’s regular Friday column will be back in full next week. Cheers!