Shopping in Toyland

Written by on 05/24/2013 in Porn & Industry

Sex Toy Quiz

After my trusted Rabbit vibrator finally gave up the ghost the other day, I decided it was time to go shopping for a new toy. I was amazed how in just the last few years there’s been an explosion in types and styles of female sex toys. The (young, hot, male) shop attendant in my local Ann Summers (a chain of shops in the UK exclusively for women selling underwear, toys and female-friendly erotica) was only too happy to help. After showing me a mind-boggling variety of choices, from a bizarre looking battery powered “tongue” to a device that attaches to your game console for a “virtual” experience, I eventually went home with the latest version of my tried-and-tested Rabbit.

Which got me thinking, with so much choice out there, it’s easier to know what you want from a toy before you hit the shops. . .

Which Sex Toy Suits You Best?

How is it easiest for you to orgasm?
a) I only ever come through clitoral stimulation
b) Usually clitoral, though I’ve felt close during intercourse before
c) I’m not sure I’ve ever even had one
d) I’m one of those rare women who prefers vaginal orgasms, they’re much more intense
e) I need stimulation in other areas at the same time, but my favourite way to orgasm is through anal sex

How do you like your sex?
a) Plenty of foreplay and oral
b) I like both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, especially of my G Spot
c) I prefer the man to take control
d) Deep fast and hard!
e) Anally

Do you believe size matters?
a) Not really, it’s foreplay techniques that count
b) It’s more whether it hits the right spot
c) I’d be intimidated by a guy that was too big
d) Absolutely!
e) Not too big. . . it might make butt sex awkward

How adventurous are you?
a) Missionary and doggie style are good enough for me
b) I’m comfortable trying new things
c) Not very. I’m more interested in intimacy
d) Very!
e) The kinkier the better!

What are you looking for from a sex toy?
a) Ways to get more stimulation on my clit
b) I’d like to explore my G Spot
c) To explore myself/I’m not really sure
d) To feel like I’m being penetrated!
e) To expand my, er, horizons. . .

Mostly A’s

You need a lot of clitoral stimulation. Go for a bullet vibrator, they’re small and with a powerful vibration are designed to deliver intense sensations. Use one of these on your clitoris, either alone or with your partner.

Mostly B’s

Go for a G Spot vibrator. They have a curve at the end designed to massage your G Spot directly. As you also like clitoral stimulation–after all, most of us do–try a rabbit vibrator with a curved shaft for your G Spot, and those all-important bunny ears for your clit!

Mostly C’s

Some of the bigger or more intense sex toys may intimidate you. Go for a clitoral stimulator designed for beginners, or a smallish vibrator designed for first-timers. A vibrator that looks more like a massager is a good bet too. Using a warming relaxing lube and give yourself some me-time before you bring it into the bedroom.

Mostly D’s

You love penetration, and are probably a size queen! The bigger the better for you as far as toys are concerned and there are some very realistic looking large vibrators around that should suit your needs. However, if your man isn’t as well-endowed and may be a tad insecure, you might want to keep this one to yourself.

Mostly E’s

Can you say “anal”? You’re a butt sex connoisseur and would benefit from an anal sex toy. I’d be surprised if you don’t already own a butt plug; so how about experimenting with anal beads for a different sensation?


Whatever your answer, hopefully an understanding of just what you need from a sex toy will help you when it comes to choosing your new gadget. Before I go, I’d like to leave you with a tip from the cute shop attendant: to test the speed and intensity of your vibe before you buy, try it on the end of your nose!


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