Toy Review: Lila Vibrating Bullet

Written by on 08/07/2013 in Product Reviews, Recommended

Review of Dr. Laura Berman Lila Vibrating Bullet

Bullet vibrator reviewI met Lila by accident, back when I was in college. Somehow, the “Dr. Laura Berman” at the front of her name made her seem a little less intimidating; I mean, she was doctor recommended. Well, okay, maybe my doctor didn’t recommend her, but for an unsure, sexually frustrated newbie, it sounded nice. Lila was an inexpensive sex toy that didn’t necessarily have a naked porn star sprawled out across the front of the packaging. I was sold.

Things are different now; I’m married, I have a pretty flavorful toy box, and I’m not terribly intimidated by raunchy package design. However, Lila and my vagina are still old friends. Oh, they get into squabbles now and then, but the make-up sex is generally worth it. She doesn’t even mind messing around while I’m enjoying my husband. Not a bad girlfriend, huh?

It’s important to note that Lila is a cheap date. She always has been; this was one of her major selling points when I was a poor college student. You can get your hands on this toy for under $10 USD, depending on the vendor. That’s not to say Lila isn’t a fun cheap date. She’s just not necessarily the kind of girl you want to settle down with. I wouldn’t call her my BFF, but we hook up now and then.

Lila’s also waterproof, which is a pretty nice perk. I’ve tried her out in a bubble bath a few times, and she performs just as well underwater as she does above (and without shorting out). I would not recommend putting the controls underwater, but it looks like you could. There’s a rubber ring along the inside of the toy, once the battery compartment is opened (she takes two AAs). It seems like this might be here to protect the batteries from water, but honestly, the seal isn’t all that great. Try at your own risk. Oh, and I wouldn’t recommend sticking the controls into any body parts. Just saying.

The controls are pretty straight forward. You get two settings, low and high. It fits in the hand quite comfortably. You can also “toy” with the power button, which I enjoy. Just lightly press down enough to cut the power–then let go. Pretty nice for teasing! A full click adjusts the speed or turns the toy off. It’s user friendly and straightforward.

Lila is not wireless; the controls and the bullet itself are attached with a white wire. It’s 24 inches long, which sounds like a lot. It’s enough. In general, I’ve had some issues with the wire under rough use. Typically, when Lila’s on her deathbed, it’s because something’s shorted out. Maybe I tugged too hard on something last night. Maybe my husband pulled too hard on the wire, while I desperately tried to keep the bullet against my clit. It happens. Lila’s not particularly built to last. You thought I had the same Lila that I bought back in college? No way. I’m lucky if she lasts six months. Then again, I’m not terribly gentle.

The bullet itself has a lovely, smooth texture; this is probably one of Lila’s greatest assets. It feels rather silky against the skin. It is hard, however. There’s no plush aspect here, and it does have some visible seams. They aren’t rough, and I highly doubt they would/could ever snag or irritate skin. I’ve put this poor thing through the ringer. If it was going to happen, it would have happened by now.

Lila is not a quiet lady. She’s not a screamer, but she’s not exactly the clit whisperer either. Generally, I would not consider noise a strong point (unless you like buzzing–I’m sure someone out there’s into bees). I don’t particularly mind, as I’ve never planned to use her in a public place. To put this in perspective: Lila’s not loud enough to wake my husband, but she’s loud enough to be heard over the bedroom television. I would not, for example, recommend using her in the same room as a roommate (unless, of course, you’re into that kind of thing).

So, why do I keep turning to Lila? The price tag is awesome. Lila’s about the cost of a fast-food dinner for two (or less), but she lasts a lot longer. Just be wary that you do get what you pay for. So, if you’re looking for some inexpensive fun, or you’re a newbie ready to try a vibrating bullet, throw a couple of bucks Lila’s way.

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